We all know it: making friends as an adult is hard. If you don’t get lucky enough to connect with the people that are already around you every day at your workplace, adult life can feel extremely lonely and isolating. This can only worsen if you identify as LGBTQ+, and are looking for LGBT friendships specifically. In fact, a wellbeing report published by LGBT Hero found that 56% of LGBT people experienced loneliness “very often” or “every day” after the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.

This outbreak of loneliness in our community comes from a lot of sourcesmonly, those identifying as LGBT can face rejection and disconnection from family after coming out, leaving LGBT friendships as main social supports. Additionally, cis and straight people may be more difficult to connect with out of lack of understanding of complex queer identities or common prejudices. That’s not to say that queer people and straight people can’t be friends, of course-as a queer person, I love my straight friends dearly. But sometimes, you need the benefits of LGBT friendship, of someone who truly understands you and where you’re coming from because they’ve been on a similar journey. When you’re living as a minority, finding community in the people who are like you can feel extremely validating. Personally, I’ve found my LGBT friendships to be thoroughly nourishing and loving, making me feel less alone and more comfortable in my various queer identities.

Step #1: Finding Friends

Of course, I can recommend Skip the Small Talk’s LGBTQ+ speed-friending events to start. You’ll be paired with a variety of LGBTQ+ strangers for a short period of time each, and given a variety of conversation prompts to spark deep discussions that you might not normally get to have with people you’ve just met. There are also a variety of rules in place to keep you feeling safe and comfortable, and you are encouraged to divulge only as much as you want to in any given conversation.

Past Skip the Small Talk, lots of lГ¤nk cities and larger towns offer LGBTQ+-specific meetups, usually themed around a fun activity. You can find these on meetup , eventbrite , and other similar sites. These are especially popular during Pride Month, with specific filters available to discover Pride-themed events! There are plenty to choose from, including hiking and outdoor groups, crafts groups, and simple board game nights. If you find yourself feeling nervous to go alone, there’s nothing wrong with bringing a friend who’s an ally along for the ride. Most groups are fairly welcoming, though it’s important to be careful if it’s a specific queer-only event.

How To Make Gay Friends: An LBGT Friendship Guide

Another way to find new LGBT friendships is by going through your local LGBT activism center . With plenty of protests and volunteering opportunities, you can find a friend and help fight for equality at the same time. These events often offer ample opportunities to chat and get to know others, and it feels good to do some good deeds along the way.

In some of my most desperate hours for gay bonding, I’ve attended LGBTQ+-themed therapy groups in my area. Now, a few disclaimers for this– don’t attend with only the intention of trying to find a friend for after the group ends. Most, if not all, therapy groups discourage discussion of anything discussed in-group leaving the room it was said in, so definitely don’t try to befriend someone by bringing up something they’ve said in the group. Instead, take this as an opportunity to share some of your troubles with a group of sympathetic strangers, listen, and learn some things about yourself along the way. Attending therapy can be helpful even if you’re not actively in acute distress, and many find it comforting to share any LGBTQ+ identity challenges in a secure and safe environment.