I’m gonna be really real with y’all. Back when I wrote the piece for the site entitled, “Women Cheat More Than We Think. What To Do If That’s You.”, I did a whole lot of “SMDH” as I read the comments on our socials. If there is one area where there seems to be a HUGE double standard, it’s when it comes to cheating. Guys do it and, to oh so many women, instantly they are dogs who are totally undeserving of forgiveness. Oh, but let us do the same thing and suddenly it’s all jokey jokes or worse-all sorts of justifications. If you truly believe that unfaithfulness is dead ass wrong, as folks say all of the time, “keep that same energy”, regardless of which gender is doing it. For real, for real.

But that’s not exactly what I want to get into today. As I was doing some of my usual perusing on Twitter, I saw a video that made me chuckle at first (lionesses ain’t no joke) and then really pause and reflect. I’ll let you check it out too:

Whew. Nature is something, ain’t it? And yes, based on the caption, side chick/side guy relationships are complicated, intense and, if you’re not super careful, they can even turn violent. And still, it’s been reported that 20 percent of men and 13 percent of women have fessed up to having sex with someone other than their spouse over the course of their marriage; sometimes that “someone” is an individual that they’ve been with for years. Hmph. Some people even end up leaving their partner for their side chick/side guy. We’ve got more than enough celebrity examples of that (and I’ll leave that right there).

And just why do so many people risk their relationship for their side person? Although I’ve never been the side chick of someone’s husband, I have been involved with men while they had girlfriends. It’s a dishonest act and that’s not cool; not at all. But having the insight that I do from those past experiences, if you’ve ever wondered why you or someone in your world can’t seem to let their side chick/side guy go, I want to share a few angles to look at. Again, not to justify but simply to explain. My ultimate objective being what? Well, once people know why they do the things that they do, sometimes that can make it so much easier to reroute and choose a much healthier and beneficial path. Well, that is, if they want to (hmm…).

Greed

Let’s go with the obvious reason first. Yes, there are some people who got with, and continue to hold onto, kuban fru dating their side person, purely out of greed-or, as a girlfriend of mine who once was in an affair with a married man said, “Because they can.” The reality is, some people don’t really get into relationships in order to do things like emotionally mature and spiritually grow. It’s more about lust-oh, and ego. They like the idea of someone-or even multiple someones-only being with them…while they are with others. If this is you, please take heed of a quote, then a Scripture. Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.” Proverbs 1:19(NKJV) says, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners.”

Here’s Why Some People Can’t Let Their Side Chick (Or Guy) Go

If you combine both of these things together, what they are basically telling you is that greed is the kind of desire that can never be fully satisfied. It’s kind of like chasing the dragon (doing heroin). They say that the first high is so totally off-the-chain that you find yourself spending the rest of your life chasing that same high; you typically don’t get it back until you overdose. King Solomon warns that greed can take you out too. Be careful about having people on the side, simply because you can. Be even more cautious about having multiple ones, just because your desire tells you that you should. There are too many warnings out here that greed doesn’t have a happy ending. Never say you weren’t warned.